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We Like To Think It Happened Like This: Delonte West Finally Got A New Job

By / 09.30.11

Mr. Jergensen: “Regardless, we need you here and we believe in you. So we’re going to have you start out in a position that can really benefit the both of us by having your face out there.”

Delonte: “Yo people in cars, buy some couches from Delonte! Check it out, Charlee Redz will do a rap for y’all! Check it, check it, unnnnnnh, my name is Charlee Redz, you should buy some bedz, now reach into yo money pouches and come by yo fine ass some couches. Haha, BET Award for real.”

Later that day…

Delonte: “Yo Dr. J, so I’m like guessing that you sold mad couches cuz of me, right?

Mr. Jergensen: “Actually, Delonte, we’ve had multiple complaints about your rapping. Please, just twirl the sign, smile and wave. And if anyone asks, you’re Ray Allen.”

Gloria James enters the showroom, looking for Delonte.

Gloria: “Delonte, sugar, you forgot your lunchbox at home. I need you healthy so you can handle all my freak nasty.”

Delonte: “Damn girl, why you gotta embarrass me at my new job, yo? I’m a grown man and I gotta provide for my boo.”

Gloria: “I told you, you don’t have to work here, I have enough money for the both of us until the lockout ends.

Delonte: “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!”

Gloria: “I told you. Now let’s get you outta this store and to a dermatologist.”

Delonte: “Yo, Dr. J, I’m outs.”

The End.


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TAGS2011 NBA LOCKOUTBASKETBALLDELONTE WESTGLORIA JAMESNBAPOOR RICH PEOPLEWE LIKE TO THINK IT HAPPENED LIKE THIS

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