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The Dugout Opening Days ’12: Minnesota Twins

By / 04.19.12

jim-thome-justin-morneau

In “piece of information included in passing that we’re contractually obligated to cover” news:

[Minnesota Twins star Justin] Morneau has been taking infield before every game, and said he also expects to be play some first base before that series in Milwaukee.

“I’ve been over there, trying to keep myself in shape, my legs in shape, and to stay sharp for whenever I get out there,” Morneau said. “It’s just a matter of time.”

Morneau entered Saturday’s game hitting .231 with a homer and two doubles, and said he’s still trying to adjust to serving as designated hitter. He said Thursday that he plans on calling former Twins DH Jim Thome for advice. (via MLB.com)

That call, presented in its entirety, is today’s edition of The Dugout: Opening Days ’12.

[h/t to Matt Dillon]

The Dugout

 

** Online Host **
Welcome to the Minnesota Twins Chatroom!

 
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: /places phone call  
KingOfPap: filly’s residents this jon how can hep u  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: Yes hi may I speak with Jim Thome, please?  
KingOfPap: mask whos speakign  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: This is Justin Morneau of the Minnesota Twins. I wanted to ask Jim for advice about being a DH.  
KingOfPap: /makes airplane noises into phone  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: uh is here there  
KingOfPap: duno lemme chek JIMMMMMMMMMM /puts down phone

JIMMMM FONE

 
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: /rubs temples, accidentally touches brain  
KingOfPap:: holn on  
 

** Online Host **
Five minutes of silence and rustling noises later…

 
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: Hello?  
phillie_phanatic: /gestures wildly at phone  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: Hello?  
phillie_phanatic: /makes “I can’t believe this” gesture to nobody  
phillie_phanatic: /repeatedly hits receiver with party-favor tongue  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: sigh I knew I should’ve just called Chili Davis  
WordUpThome: WHAT HELLO  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: Hello?  
WordUpThome: HELLO

YES THIS IS A JI

 
WordUpThome: JIM  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: Jim! It’s Justin Morneau from the Twins. How are you?  
WordUpThome: DID YOU KNOW THAT PHILERDELPHIA IS HOME TO THE LIBERTIED BELL I JUST LEARNED THAT

LITERALLY JUST LEARNED IT ON PHILERDELPHIA DOT ORG USING COMPTUERS

 
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: That’s great. Say, listen, I could really use your advice on something.  
WordUpThome: IS IT HAIRDOS BECAUSE HIGH AND TIGHT IS MY ONLY ADVICE  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: No, it’s about being a designated hitter. How can I bet the best possible DH?  
WordUpThome: HIT THE BALL HARD AND DON’T FIELD  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau:  
WordUpThome:  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: wait is that seriously it?  
WordUpThome: IT’S DESIGNATED AT HITTER JUSTIN WHAT CAN I TELL YOU IT IS THE BASKET WEAVING OF BASEBALL POSITIONS YOU JUST HIT AND THEN DON’T FIELD AND YOU WIN OR DON’T  
WordUpThome: DID YOU TRY CALLING CHILLING DAVIS HE HAS GREAT ADVICE  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: No, not yet.  
WordUpThome: HE SAID THE SECRET TO A GREAT BATCH WAS LOTS OF RED ONIONS AND NEGRA MODELO  
WordUpThome: I THOUGHT HE WAS BEING A RACIST ABOUT IMAN FOR LIKE SIX MONTHS BEFORE I REALIZED HE MEANT BEERS  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: if you HAD to come up with some other ways to be a good DH, what would they be? I play in Minnesota, I really need some help here.  
WordUpThome: HAVE YOU TRIED BEING FAT YET  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: no not really  
WordUpThome: ACCORDING TO JIM — FAT OR OLD USUALLY WORK  
WordUpThome: IF YOU HAVE TO RUN THE BASES IN A “HOVER AROUND” YOU ARE USUALLY GREAT AT D’ING H. DINGERS O’PLENTY  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: can you put the bird back on the phone  
WordUpThome: QUERIED ADAM DUNN ABOUT THIS LAST SEASON, HIS RETORT WAS TO MAKE ON THE INFIELD GRASS AND SHOW IT TO ME  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: or the kid with the airplane noises, I don’t know  
KingOfPap:: stil onna lien  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: oh, hey.  
WordUpThome: JONATHAN GET OFF THE LINE  
KingOfPap:: u wan play spies  
WordUpThome: GET OFF THE LINE JONATHAN JONATHAN HANG UP THE PHONE  
WordUpThome: HANG UP THE PHONE JONATHAN  
KingOfPap:: u lik chily davist?? lol  
WordUpThome: HANG UP THE  
WordUpThome: THAT’S IT HOLD ON /puts down phone  
KingOfPap:: u play xbogs  
KingOfPap:: brb lol  
 

** Online Host **
The call has been disconnected.

 
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: sighhh  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: /places phone call  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: speak  
ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: Hey Delmon, it’s Justin Morneau. You have any advice on being a good DH?  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: fatten up an brake dem legs  
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com

TAGSBaseballDELMON YOUNGJIM THOMEJONATHAN PAPELBONMINNESOTA TWINSMLBPHILADELPHIA PHILLIESPHILLIE PHANATICTHE DUGOUTTHE DUGOUT OPENING DAYS

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