If you’ve been upset at how infrequent our coverage of Kris Humphries’ gross sex life had become following his tryst with the Star Mitzvah version of Kim Kardashian, never fear … TMZ.com is here with a report about a lady who claims Humphries had sex with her without a condom and gave her herpes.
Now I’m sure your brain is going KIM KARDASHIAN HERPES KIM KARDASHIAN HERPES, but please, hold all Twitter and Celebrity Roast jokes until the end of the blockquote.
Kayla Goldberg claims she met Kris in August, 2010 at the Newsroom Cafe on Robertson Blvd. in L.A. They flirted, exchanged numbers, and she claims that night they met up at Trousdale nightclub on the Sunset Strip.
According to the suit, Kris came on to Kayla, touching, kissing and dancing with her. Kayla claims he took her to his hotel and they had sex multiple times … including oral sex. The suit claims during a portion of the sexual encounter Kris did not wear a condom.
The lawsuit claims Kris did not inform Kayla he had herpes — and she claims in the suit that he did indeed have the disease.
Kayla says a week later she was diagnosed with herpes. Her symptoms included a sore throat, fever, body aches and immobilizing pain, as well as extreme vaginal irritation and painful legions on her genitalia.
You’ve got to wonder how many vaginal-desecration lawsuits and unwanted pregnancy scares Kris has to have before he just makes a trip to Walgreens like a regular person.
Of course, much in the same way that we shouldn’t automatically assume this is false, we shouldn’t automatically assume this is true. 2012 Kris Humprhies is probably the easiest celebrity ever to hit with a lawsuit, and anyone could say “HE STOOD NEAR ME AND GAVE ME A RASH” with about a 50% chance of it really being his fault. We’ll continue to wish Kris the best in his future endeavors, hope that he’ll drop the 15 bucks on a pack of condoms and try harder to sleep with women who don’t have a video camera, tape recorder and bag of cotton swabs beside the bed.
[TMZ-ese translated into actual English by Larry Brown Sports]