Worst: PILLMAN’S GOT A GUN AND This Is Nothing Like That
You don’t need me to write about how dumb this is, do you?
Paul Heyman gets a Best for selling the shit out of this whole thing (“YOU BROKE HIS ARM!”), Lesnar gets a small Best for finally, finally just grabbing Shawn Michaels, throwing him into something, carrying him into the ring and F-5ing him to death (something he should’ve done three weeks ago), but everyone involved gets a terrible, terrible Worst for participating in a WWE manslaughter and vicious, invisible assault angle and somehow finding a way to also wedge in a brief kidnapping subplot AND a thing where people tear off their shirts to show anger.
This entire thing was super dumb and I can’t think of a mainstream faux-alt-rock lead singer or baby kitten cute enough to represent the opposite of what I feel. If the SummerSlam match lasts for 4 minutes and ends exactly like this, I’ll have a lot of positive things to say.
Best: JOHNNY CURTIS DID IT I KNOW IT
Anyone who watched NXT will know that Johnny Curtis does not just stumble upon accidents and kidnapping angles by coincidence, especially not when Matt Striker was the one to rush over and discover it. Has anybody seen Maxine? Has anyone checked the janitor’s closet? Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman had to have accomplices on the inside, and we know Maxine is malicious enough to have faked quitting just to sneak around backstage a la Michael Tarver and GPS Shawn Michaels for the Lesnar crew. We also know Johnny is dumb enough to have gone along with it. This Triple H/Brock Lesnar angle is about to GET WEIRD.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
Exposed baldspot theater
The Armbreak Kid!
Shawn disappeared? OH MY GOD I MISSED THE RAPTURE!!!!!
CM Punk’s life of not-hard living has not aged him well.
“Hey Shawn you wanna see my new chainsaw and hockey mask!”
This is a 4 way match, Christian has been setting up the Killswitch this whole time though
I’m here to plug social media and kick ass. And I’m all Tout of bubblegum…
So don’t know if this concern has been discussed… but without the Nickelback intro…. WTF do I do with my balls now!?
Johnny Curtis should have just been covered in milk, unexplained
To fill the final 15 minutes of the broadcast after running ahead of time, Damien Sandow shall now sing the entire score to the H.M.S. Pinafore, abridged.
See you this weekend for the SummerSlam open discussion thread, and again on Monday for my super tired live report.