While I was watching the U.S. Open last week, a friend and I had a very serious conversation about one of the most important tennis issues of our time – who is the hottest women’s tennis player of her generation? Ultimately, he said Anna Kournikova in her prime, and I said that was just lazy. Sure, Kournikova was every tennis fan’s perfect 10 for so many years, despite the fact that she just flat out sucked at tennis. And that’s an important thing to me when having taking such a misogynistic stance on female professional athletes, because I actually like to factor talent into hotness. What can I say, I’m a gentleman.
Anywho, I threw a few names out there – (younger) Serena Williams, Mathilde Johansson, Isabella Holland, Caroline Wozniacki, to name a few – and he just kept insisting that it’s a two-dog fight between Kournikova and Maria Sharapova. And he wouldn’t even consider Vera Zvonareva, which is just criminal if you ask me, because she’s the perfect combination of talented and fun to look at, which is also what I require of all girls, according to my Adult Friend Finder account.
Then Sharapova showed up at an airport over the weekend wearing this see-through shirt and I started to see my friend’s point a little more clearly. And yes, I know this is hardly news, but I had a whole post written out about why people need to get off Chris Johnson’s back and let the man get his sh*t together and I deleted it because Sharapova’s bra is breaking news to me. What’s that, Pulitzer committee? You’re sending my award this afternoon. Why thank you.
All that meaningless stuff said, here’s my favorite picture of Vera Zvonareva: