Best, Believe It Or Not: Punk Vs. Vince Felt Like One Of Those Crummy But Exciting Attitude Era Main-Events
I feel like I hated it while I was watching it, but revisiting it this morning, I think I really enjoyed the CM Punk/Mr. McMahon Fight Without Honor. It had that 1998 WWF television feel, where the rules were loose, stakes were high (CM Punk intending to lobotomize his boss to keep him from retaliating is particularly dark) and people were willing to bleed and hit each other with sticks to prove points. It also reminded me of that era of WWF television because the wrestling was f**king terrible, but it was fun to watch. That can be better than the soulless execution of “good wrestling,” i.e. Roderick Strong doing anything ever.
Of course, there’s no reason for Punk to be cowering from a 60+ year old man, whether he’s got a kendo stick or not. There’s a moment when Punk loses the cane fight and cowers in the corner, and the crowd is SUPER HOT and Punk’s begging off, and I thought “well this is bullshit”. And then I thought about how hot the crowd was, and how Ric Flair used to beg off from people like this all the time, and I never thought HE was betting “buried” or whatever, I thought he was being insincere. Punk hits the low blow, and I go, “oh, okay”. That doesn’t excuse Punk trying to take his belt and bail, or Vince punching out Paul Heyman for no reason, or Vince letting stroke victim Bret Hart beat him to death for 20 minutes but not letting current 300+ day WWE Champion CM Punk beat him up without taking shortcuts, but whatever, you see what I’m getting at.
Best: Choose Ryback, Plz
Ryback versus CM Punk has me excited. I think they could do something really good with it, and allow Ryback to lose without necessarily painting him into that Goldberg corner where he’s 200-0 or whatever and has to lose via cattle prod to the guy booking the show. It’s fresh, Ryback’s got enough crowd response to make it a spectacle (listen to the response when he hits that clothesline … that was boom era wrestling crowd noise), and he’s got enough character time/development left to recover from it.
John Cena is wearing a weird elbow brace designed by Jeff Hardy, will probably not be medically cleared (at least not for real) by the time the pay-per-view happens, has had 75 chances to beat CM Punk for the championship already and is the least fresh pro wrestler in existence.
If I was Punk, I’d pick Cena, because he’s hurt and I could beat him easily. If I was a wrestling fan, or anyone in charge of wrestling, I’d pick Ryback, because f**k yeah.
Worst: CM Punk Hit A Guy In The Crowd, So Of Course It’s Mainstream News, Please Visit Busted Coverage For Deep Analysis On Whether Or Not CM Punk Hitting That Guy You Couldn’t See Was A ‘Work’ (Wrestling Term) Click Here For More
Real talk: Yes, I saw CM Punk hit a guy in the crowd at the end of Raw. No, I don’t care. Punk’s a dick, wrestling fans are awful, nobody should touch the wrestlers and if you get in a wrestler’s face, he should have the in-arena rights to beat the Christ out of you. He shouldn’t be excused for behavior that’d get another person suspended or fired, but at the same time, wrestling fans need to go back to the golden era, where they were either being punched in the face by Stan Hansen for being in the way and APPRECIATING IT, or stabbing Freddie Blassie with something because heel heat works.
The punishment should be CM Punk having to hang out with that guy for an afternoon, play some video games, watch a shitty movie that guy likes (Torque, maybe) and take pictures with his friends and family. Then maybe a handshake and an apology, and we all learn to be grown ups, not hit anybody and never put your hands on the wrestlers.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night
I don’t want to say this John Cena opening has been horrific, but Cancer is now selling a “Rise Above Cena” t-shirt.
“Why don’t you love me, wrestling dad prime?”
Creative: Why don’t we pit an IRISH guy against an ENGLISH guy?
Drew McIntyre: and a SCOTSMAN!!!!
Stone Cold Jane Austen
I’M FROM ENGLAND AND I CAN CONFIRM THAT NONE OF US ARE CALLED “WADE”.
Just think, if this was Christmas Creature, that would have been a MISTLETOE DROPKICK
MILLIONS OF IQ POINTS MILLIONS OF IQ POINTS MILLIONS OF IQ POINTS MILLIONS OF IQ POINTS MILLIONS OF IQ POINTS
Sorry Punk, your DVD needs to outsell Cena’s DVD in 17 cities before you have my respect.
Breast Cancer doesn’t care about EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU PEOPLE
John John The Bastard
I think John Cena is becoming Venom.
Say what you will about Glee, but they at least know how to do a proper “here’s what you missed” segment.
See you next week, all.