Believe it or not, there is apparently other news being made today, as opposed to whatever that nonsense is that’s going on at my local library. And the biggest news of all is that people are all, “What’s up with that?” to the new Nike bromance brewing between Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy. Somewhere Elin Nordegren is teaching Caroline Wozniacki how to find the sweet spots on a Cadillac rear window.
Wait a sec, McIlroy’s new $200 million deal isn’t the big news. The big news is that Woods and McIlroy both bailed on the WGC event in China, because BOO HOO they’re tired from playing too much golf. You know who wasn’t tired from playing too much golf? My grandfather who worked 80 hours a week in a coal mine to send his kids to school. He hated golf, so he didn’t play it at all.
But even that isn’t the biggest Tiger Woods news of the week, because you already read the headline, so you’re probably like, “Damn it, broseph, just get to the girl with the huge breasts already.” Well then, here we go…
Joslyn James, one of the eleventy billion women who came forward as one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses in 2010*, has signed up for a gig at the world famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch, according to TMZ. So now, if you really like paying for sex, you can drop a thousand bucks or so to tell your friends that you slept with the porn star that nobody had ever heard of until she had an affair with Woods. I’d imagine they’d respond, “Cool?”
According to the website, the owner of the infamous ranch, Dennis Hof, said she will be at the celebrated brothel from Dec. 5th through the 12th.
“Now you can finally have a piece of Tiger’s tail,” he told the online tabloid.
James is apparently already taking reservations for those who want private intimate time with the adult film actress. (Via Examiner)
Can I just save a few hundred dollars and sleep with the Perkins waitress instead? But speaking of James, I stumbled across the most remarkable story that completely missed my radar back in May. Apparently she posed for a coffee table book that is dedicated to Trayvon Martin. So make sure to order that and leave it out when you have company over so they will never come back to your house again.
*Has it really only been 2 years since that whole scandal? It feels much longer. I look forward to E!’s reunion special, hosted by Rob Kardashian and Scott Disick, with a musical tribute by Jessie J.