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With Leather Book Club: Tank Abbott’s ‘Befor There Were Rules: Bar Brawler’ Part 1

By 11.26.12

Chapter One – Kaos Rules:

Walter Foxx wakes up to some serious pain in his right hand and reminisces about last night’s adventure. Foxx and his friends, collectively known as Kaos, were hanging out at Café Pistol at Happening Harbor and watching people walk to the nearby Dead Grunion nightclub for Pajama Night. The ladies looked good and the “pajama boys” were open for ribbing, so it was going to be a good night.

Unfortunately, “Donovan” is a pajama boy, 6’8”, over 300 pounds, an NFL lineman, and he and his two friends decide to take a seat at the table right next to Kaos. Their withering looks are enough to send the younger members of Kaos packing, but Foxx stays sipping his drink. That is, until he hears the call of “Kaos! Kaos!”

Foxx investigates to find six pajama boys and six members of Kaos squaring up. Since it’s an even fight, Foxx hangs back, just watching. Walter’s buddy Marcus is getting the better of his particular pajama boy, so the guy takes off for his car, so of course Marcus has to jump into the moving vehicle, followed by two other pajamas boy, but it’s all good, Marcus puts the driver in a chokehold and forces him to stop the car. That’s when a conscientious objector pajama boy fires a gun into the air and that kills most of the fight mood.

Just as things look like they might be dispersing, Donovan and his two buddies roll up, and Donovan has the “I’m a big guy, so I can intimidate everyone else” attitude that Foxx just hates. After a tense moment, Donovan heads to his car, but finds the fresh paint has been scratched by someone carelessly overturning a beer onto it. He insinuates Foxx is fat, and that doesn’t sit well with Walter. Donovan gets into his car and aims for Kaos, looking to get the crew to scatter. Walter’s friend Tim hucks a beer bottle and it shatters against the trunk of Donovan’s new BMW convertible.

Donovan gets out of his car and challenges the bottle-thrower to come forward and get murdered. Foxx pulls a Spartacus and steps up to the giant. Walter steps into Donovan’s sloppy hook and drops him with a right straight, a one-hit KO (Must be the four-rep 495 pounds Foxx has been bench pressing recently). With Donovan down, Walter climbs on top and starts unloading on his unconscious foe (Steve Mazzagatti must have been refereeing this bout), then he grabs Donovan by the hair and cracks his head into the pavement. With a possible corpse on his hands, Foxx jumps on Donovan’s belly twice before making his getaway.

Foxx waits for the cops and paramedics to show up and take Donovan away before he heads to a payphone to call his buddy Rolando for a ride home.

Fight Stats:

Did Walter fight? Yes

Walter’s opponent – Donovan, 6’8”, 300+ pounds (Had at least 70 pounds on Walter and eight inches thanks to the cowboy boots)

Did Walter get hit? Nope

Walter’s Compu-Strike Numbers – 1 standing arm strike (KO), 3+ ground arm strikes, 1 head slam

Similar MMA fight – vs. John Matua, UFC 6

Key lines: “I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on.”

Holy crap, that is an amazing line, I have to find situations to use it in my life.

Be sure to visit With Leather again soon for Part 2, featuring chapters 2-4.

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