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The Best And Worst Of TNA Impact Wrestling 2/7/13: Live From Manche-zzzzzzzzzzz

By / 02.08.13

Worst: Wes Brisco on the mic

HAWK HOGAN*.

Really, Wes? Or perhaps the better question would be WHATCHOO GONNA DO, WHEN HAWKWAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?

*please note that I have included the evolved New Pokemon Order Hogan for posterity.

Best: But still, thanks for trying to help out, Wes

Worst: Brischoff, maybe you should shut up soon

I’m sorry, Hulk Hogan didn’t call you? You went from WWE to a cup of coffee in Florida indies to being in the main storyline in TNA? You both have extremely well connected fathers within the industry and get to bask in the glow of nepotism while others are wrestling their hearts out in no-name promotions in the middle of nowhere for twenty people, ten of whom probably don’t even care? Gee, sorry I’m not sorry ‘bout your struggles, guys. Maybe the next time you guys feel sad you can take one of Eric Bischoff’s private jets to his massive ranch and ride horses across the countryside and have a cowboy bonfire with stacks of hundred dollar bills. Or, I dunno, get better at wrestling and not be douchebags.

Worst: The X-Division Match

This show is already to the point where I might as well just have posted a picture of Hulk Hogan’s disapproving poopies face and left it at that, because that is basically the only amount of emotion I could muster for any of this.

I would have generally skipped this match, given that it’s yet another pointless title defense with 3/4s of the X-Division (obviously Christian York couldn’t travel due to stringent animal quarantine laws) with some perfectly competent wrestling amidst all of the…not so good sloppy wrestling, but this show was so boring even I struggled with finding anything positive to say. I am still struggling. I started watching and writing five hours ago, and all I have to show for it is two visual gags, a token Jervis Cottonbelly mention, and a W against my Christmas tree.

Worst: Tazz, the Human something something Machine

Guys, that is not a Northern Lights Suplex. You have one job. I will begrudgingly accept some mistakes from Todd Keneley because he’s still pretty green and also endearingly awkward, but Tazz. Sweetie. Tazz. You were the Human Suplex Machine. A machine LITERALLY MADE TO SUPLEX/MADE OF SUPLEXES.

Sigh.

Hey Tazz, mind holding onto this package for me?

Worst: That finish, though…

[This portion of the Best and Worst of Impact has been redacted. With Leather appreciates their sponsors, and in no way would want to offend any of our more impressionable readers with the use of gratuitous adult language, especially for five straight paragraphs. We here at With Leather are grateful for your understanding and consideration in this matter. Thank you, and have a pleasant day.]

Speaking of RVD, however…


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