BEST: My streak continues
Okay, you’re gonna have to believe me. I promise I am writing this report as I am watching Raw so I had no idea Mark Henry was returning tonight. Brandon is furious. So is Mark Henry who looked damn good while demolishing Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan. The “that’s what I do” screams were intense. Mark Henry is a believable world title contender and here’s hoping they don’t put him into a program with Khali or Oz or Tugboat. We’re pulling for you, Mark Henry, even though you haven’t stopped wearing that WSM onesie.
WORST: 15%, Big Show
I know it’s weird for the room service guy to stand in front of you and put his hands all out in a “gimme gimme gimme” motion but still. Dick move, Paul Wight. He probably uses more towels than he needs and leaves the TV on when he goes to the lobby too. Save the planet, Big Show. And leave a $2-5 tip for the maids you jerk.
BEST: Kane vs. Daniel Bryan Wrestlemania 29 here we come
Jerry Lawler said it worst, this Kane vs. Sheamus match is “the unstoppable object meets an immoveable object”. Ummm…
“the unbreakable force vs. the force that cannot be broken”
“the irresistible strength vs. the strength that does not resist”
“a hat vs. a cap”
Luckily this was much more than that. And even though we all had Bryan vs. Kane on our Wrestlemania prediction pool way back in October, I think we’re still pretty excited. Then again, we also had Cena vs. Rock on our prediction pool and I think we’re still pretty pissed off.
WORST: Miz TV is not good
Imagine if Miz TV was a real show with real guests, like a morning talk show. It would be awful. There would be furniture there but the guests would be forced to stand. He would make those stupid little faces while his guests were trying to tell us something interesting and then he would interrupt them with that “really” bullshit that he stole from another bad TV show and the studio audience would say “really” back and he would make even worse faces. It would be worse than Magic Johnson’s show was and worse than the View has always been and worse than whatever the worst talk show currently is.
BEST: Miz TV featuring Brock Lesnar is good
…but if Brock Lesnar interrupted each interview and threw furniture everywhere I’m setting my DVR. Bonus best: imagine Brock Lesnar F5’ing Whoopie Goldberg. Now imagine while on Lesnar’s shoulders, Whoopie Goldberg shape shifts into Bill Goldberg.
WORST: What are we supposed to think about Randy Orton
He doesn’t seem to lose very often. He doesn’t really talk about wanting to be world champion. I’m not clear on his motivations lately. I guess the voices in Randy’s head are counseling him to only fight Wade Barrett from now on. Will be pretty cool when they tell him something new to do but I guess mind voices are kinda notorious for doing their own thing.
Speaking of Wade, shouldn’t they set some fireworks off when he throws his jacket off during his intro? Or what if they rigged his jacket with wires and when he threw it off it just went straight up into the rafters with gold sparks shooting from the bottom? You’re welcome, WWE.
I want more like this!
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