The Best And Worst Of Impact Wrestling 3/7/13: All Works And No Joseph Park Make Danielle Something Something

By: 03.08.13  •  44 Comments

Worst: Oh, so you CAN go into their clubhouse

After eight months of jamming 13 people and at least 6 to 8 “ladies” into a couple of tiny rooms, only now does anyone decide to take the fight to them? I know they’re technically allowed to be there, but these guys get spooked when they outnumber their opponents 6 to 3. They don’t understand how numbers work, or apparently locks, so imagine how freaked out they’d be if the rest of the roster just showed up in their little dining room area looking to fight. Aces & Eights can dish it out, but it’s highly doubtful that they can take it.

Best: Matt Morgan’s beard

No amount of talking will make me ever want to see Matt Morgan wrestle ever, but sir, that’s a fine beard. There’s no debate that Chris Trew undoubtedly has the best beard in the game, but I appreciate the effort, Mr. Morgan, and I would totally give you a low car insurance rate in the future.

Worst: Wes Brisco, what even are you

Wes Brisco delivers the promo equivalent of those thirteen year old girls on Jenny Jones makeover shows who insist that there’s nothing wrong with wearing almost no clothes, we’re just jealous of allllll thaaaaat. I’m sorry Wes, but I will not sit down. Whoever it was who saw his last promo and thought “oh, yeah, let’s let him do that again!” should be fired immediately. I know the writers are probably only being paid in leftover Don West brown bags, but there is literally no excuse for this shmashmortion of a promo.

Best, worst, and thing that happened: Shut the front door, it’s D’Lo?

After exclusively referring to that D’Lo shaped member of Aces & Eights as D’Lo for the last however many months, I personally was shocked to find out that D’Lo was the VP of Aces & Eights. In other news, it’s opposite day! Wes Brisco, you don’t look anything like the lovechild of a CHUD and a Kewpie doll in a greasy fright wig someone found in the trash. Tazz, you are an excellent commentator who brings up many salient points in the most respectful manner possible. Bellator rules, and I wish they’d mention it more.

But in all seriousness, I am glad that the reveal happened when it did. I think now is the perfect time to start causing some serious dissent and distrust between the non-Aces & Eights roster members. D’Lo can say more than “TESTIFY MAH BROTHER” and doesn’t insist that Jack and Gerald Brisco were one singular wrestler. I assume he claims the ladies of the night as dependents, and got everyone some sweet tax returns in order to help the club afford a trip to England. D’Lo Brown fears neither audits nor Team Sting!

Around The Web