Best: Meet Hulk Hogan’s Challenger, Bald Stevie From Season 3 Of ‘Eastbound & Down’
Worst: THE SHOW’S ALMOST OVER, HERE ARE THE REST OF THE CELEBRITIES
Sometimes, less is more. I think WWE learned their lesson here, but they were so into getting celebrities for WrestleMania that they got ALL the celebrities, and by the end they were just like GUEST RING ANNOUNCER TOMMY LASORDA. GUEST TIMEKEEPER THE KID FROM ‘SILVER SPOONS.’ GUEST RING MAT DELTA BURKE. GUEST OUTSIDE THE RING FLOOR A BUNCH OF BURGER KING WRAPPERS.
The crowd can’t even react to the celebrities, because as soon as one shows up, another one is there to laugh and shake is hand. I mean, not like Rick Schroeder was gonna get the crowed whipped into a frenzy, but if you’re spending Rick Schroeder money, at least let get out Rick Schroeder fill. And yo, does this mean Carlton from ‘The Fresh Prince’ ALSO got to go to WrestleMania? He was on ‘Silver Spoons,’ too. Is there a picture somewhere of King Kong Bundy posing with teenage Alfonso Ribeiro?
There is a great “Ribeiro Steakhouse” joke here and I am trying so hard to make it.
Worst: Super Injured, Cage Match Hulk Hogan Is Still Just Hulk Hogan
You know how Hulk Hogan matches play out. Want to know how Hulk Hogan CAGE matches play out? Exactly like the regular ones, except instead of punches, Hogan throws you into the cage wall. Boom. That’s it.
So these early Hogan Mania mains aren’t anything special, other than being “moments.” You can remember him teaming up with Mr. T at WrestleMania I, but other than Bob Orton coming off the ropes like a dumb idiot, you can’t remember a lot about the match. You remember him bodyslamming Andre at WrestleMania III, but aside from the early 3-count that Andre totally got and that photo of them in a bear hug, that’s basically the only important part of the match. He didn’t get a good match until Savage at WrestleMania V, and even THAT was constructed to piss off the 1980-whenever equivalent to 2013 Me.
What I’m getting at is that if you say “regular Hogan match + blue cage,” that’s this. Hogan is such a prick here, too. Not only does he essentially no-sell the injury that was supposed to give Bundy a huge advantage, he wins the match and celebrates by bringing Bobby Heenan into the ring and beating him up for no reason. Just punches the shit out of him and atomic drops him. I know you don’t like him, but do you seriously have to cave in his asshole?
So, In Total:
WrestleMania 2 is (believe it or not) a gigantic improvement over WrestleMania I, and set the stage for the whole “WrestleMania is larger than life” thing. It’s not the best show ever – it’s nowhere near as important as III, and we wouldn’t get a great-in-total WrestleMania until X – but it’s the kind of thing that kicks your ass when you’re a kid, and that’s important.
And hey, the next time something racist happens in WWE, remember that it could, and has been, a lot, lot worse.
I want more like this!
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