I’m a huge fan of whenever perpetually-disgraced, crack-smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s antics leak into the sports world, be it his 20-year old NFL apology tie, his crack football skills (pun intended) or his arm wrestling dominance over Hulk Hogan. He is a rotund, hapless, drug-addled Brock Lesnar mayor and he is the gift that keeps on giving.
Because Mayor Ford is now a cartoon character (and because he did that thing with Hogan), he has drawn the ire of The Iron Sheik, the former Olympian and WWF Champion whose unique brand of carefully-crafted, stream-of-consciousness hate-yelling has made him a hit with people on the Internet who love hearing insane people shout shit.
Sheiky Baby uploaded a video threatening to break Ford’s back and make him hum-bell for what he’s done to the people of Toronto, and also because he … eats cheeseburgers? He is a smoked cheeseburger. I don’t know. It’s the Sheik.
That led to yesterday’s epic moment when the Iron Sheik marched on the municipal headquarters, challenging Ford to a wrestling match, an arm wrestling match, or whatever it takes to get him ousted as mayor and replaced by a deranged Iranian guy in a wheelchair and pointy boots.
“I want to see Mr. Ford,” The Sheik shouted during a media scrum, saying he had “no respect” for the mayor.
“I just want to know: Is he a real man, or no?”
Aided by an assistant, The Sheik said he would “absolutely” put Ford in his signature “Camel Clutch” chin-lock, given the opportunity.
I wish American politics worked like this. I know we had those California recall elections with Gary Coleman and a bunch of porn stars running, but I specifically want a moment where Barack Obama lies about something in a speech and Hacksaw Jim Duggan shows up on the White House lawn, swinging around a 2×4 and yelling HOOOOO until Obama addresses him. That’s the America I dream of.
We’ll keep you updated if anything materializes between the two, especially if Ford accepts the Sheik’s challenge and F5s him.