Because he’s Jose Canseco and absolutely nothing he does makes sense, the former Major League Baseball slugger and godfather of the sport’s steroid era decided that he and his girlfriend, Leila Knight, wanted to buy a pair of fainting goats. Naturally, he tracked some down on the Internet and set out to purchase them and bring them home, so they could join what he refers to as his zoo of four dogs and tortoises. More importantly, he said that they’d serve as his and Knight’s children until they have their own, which is an absolutely terrifying idea.
But a funny thing happened while they were bringing their diaper-clad goats home to join their strange family. Canseco and Knight were pulled over on the highway, at which point the officer discovered the slugger’s new pets.