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Please Let This LeBron James Rap Song Be A Really Bad April Fool's Day Joke

By 04.01.14
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We’ve known for a while that LeBron James has been flirting with adding rap star to his portfolio, as he has shown off his rhyming skills, or rather his fondness for hip hop karaoke, in the club. But it seems like we finally have what is believed to be the self-anointed King’s actual first recorded rap verse. TMZ Sports released the audio earlier this morning, and it definitely sounds like James rapping; however, I’d have expected him to allow someone to come up with some stronger lyrics for him. I mean, it’s not “Pitbull lyrics” terrible, but it’s definitely not going to oust Jay Z from the throne.

I’m trying to approach this with a positive attitude, though, so let’s take a minute to listen to this LeBron James rap song and then break down the lyrics to really decide whether there’s a future in rap for him or not.

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Now, I have to warn you, I listened to this several times and some of the lyrics are pretty vague to me. I think I got the bulk of them, but I’m sure I whiffed on a few. Either way, let’s examine them…

It’s a damn shame that you ever doubted
Roll with us because you know we got it

He says the second line probably 800 times. It’s like he’s warming up for double dutch and he keeps repeating this before he finally jumps in.

I just got to the south of France, killa
Shots so bright, I got a tan, killa
Try to catch up, it’s a waste of time
I grind too hard let you take mine, never
AP watts drop next month?

All right, this is where I start to struggle. I have no idea what he just said drops next month.

60 raps and your wrist is stuntin’?

No clue man, I’m like Phil Hartman’s Sinatra impersonation at this point.

Fall back before you fall out
My team eatin’ the rest of y’all drought

Maybe?

Say what you want about the king, got money, got cribs, got ribs, and oh yeah, got two rings

Did he say ribs there? Or am I just hearing it that way because I want ribs? Both, probably.

Tall like high scores, gotta keep getting that bopper, DeNiro, don’t fear, yo

Was that a shoutout to Richie Belding? I have no idea what’s going on anymore.

I understand you can’t compete, bro, what you see here is royalty
You can’t beat me so join me
Over six feet underneath, haha
Where my crown, Sheef, because you know we got it

I’m going to start calling one of my friends “Sheef” now. “Yo Sheef, let’s go get an AM Crunchwrap!”

Roll with us, because you know we got it
It’s a damn shame you ever doubted

Gotta close with your best line, I guess. Anyway, if I had to rank LeBron on a list of all-time great rappers right now, I’d probably have him somewhere between Kobe Bryant and the Fat Boys. That’s a long climb to the top, but when you’ve got the best yes men in the NBA telling you that you should everything, it’ll only be a matter of time before he thinks he’s the greatest.


TOPICS#NBA
TAGSATHLETES TURNED RAPPERSBASKETBALLHATERS GONNA HATELeBron JamesMIAMI HEATRAPPING ATHLETES

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