Worst: Well, This Isn’t Getting Any Easier
I’ve spent all week writing about the Ultimate Warrior. I wrote about his Raw promo on Monday, his death announcement on Tuesday, the celebration of his life and career on Wednesday and the opinions of opportunistic vultures and Internet weirdos on Thursday. On NXT I got my first “in memory of” graphic.
I’m not sure I’ll ever truly know what to say when a guy who was once a Wrestling Buddy passes, but I’m glad WWE’s the only organization classy enough to call him by his name. He changed his name to WARRIOR. Everyone else is like “Jim Hellwig” or “James Hellwig” with a bunch of “professional known as the Ultimate Warriors” after it. The guy was WARRIOR. WARRIOR died. Respect the guy enough to give him that.
Worst: How Are You Supposed To Manage A Viral Chant Of The Entrance Music You Aren’t Using
This isn’t getting easier, either. Another Adam Rose match, another bastardized version of his entrance theme. They’re using it in the promo videos for his impending Raw debut so I guess they’re never paying up to use the real one and we’re never getting back our glorious World Goes Wild Woo.
The problem is that the soccer chant version of Rose’s original theme is still going. Wrestling crowds have really gotten into chanting theme songs lately … the NXT crowd is chanting Rose’s theme, crowds were chanting the Real Americans theme throughout WrestleMania weekend and New Orleans was singing and swaying to church songs in support of Bray Wyatt. Hell, at the Shimmer show on Mania weekend Leva Bates dressed up as Gambit and the crowd chanted the old X-Men cartoon theme. Don’t forget the sing-songy “John Cena sucks” catching on, too. The lasting legacy of Fandangoing seems to be the notion that we can sing something other than “na na na na hey hey hey goodbye” at wrestling shows.
My support for Adam Rose remains at 0%. I just can’t do it. It’s like meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife.
Best: The Oompa Loompa Parade Was Pretty Cool I Guess
It’s so easy to love you. WHY WON’T YOU LET ME LOVE YOU.
Worst: Watch Out, Devin Taylor, This Guy Is Literally An Underdog-Eating Forest Wolf!
Corey Graves had a quick backstage interview with Devin Taylor to discuss what happened with Sami Zayn’s brain (brayn?), and while it avoided some of the hilarious mixed metaphors and phrase misunderstandings from last week’s attempt, it had the creepiness cranked up to eleven. Graves starts the interview by telling Devin she’s cute and asking where they found her, and it’s probably the worst attempt ever at a Roman Reigns/Renee Young Baby Girl. I wish Devin’s response had been, “in a Hawaiian tropic catalog.”
Graves also loses infinity point for being the only pro-Barry Bonds guy from Pittsburgh. Corey’s the guy who’d come out in a Cleveland Browns shirt and be all I LOVE THE STEELERS, LOOK AT THEIR LOGO, IT’S BLAZE ORANGE, LIKE STEEL.
Best: Lotso vs. The Boss
I really enjoyed this week’s Divas match, pitting Bayley against Sasha Banks. I’m hoping this means Bayley can pick back up with her “I want revenge on Charlotte” storyline and not just ignore it forever. It’s such a copout. Why wouldn’t Bayley still be mad about that? Her lack of self confidence? Does she feel like Natalya showing up and beating Charlotte is good enough, because Bayley idolizes WWE Superstars and thinks that’s as good as it gets? Paige (or whoever) needs to shake her by the shoulders and be all, NO, KICK THAT GIRL’S ASS, BAYLEY.
Sasha’s strikes are a little iffy sometimes, especially when she starts clubbering, but the finishing sequence more than made up for it. If Sasha can start hitting moves with force she’ll be the best Diva they’ve got. As a follow-up note, I hope they never change her HIP-HOP #5 demo entrance theme.
I noticed something I really loved about Bayley, too, aside from all the other stuff — her ability to actually build momentum. I mean that literally. Watch when she hits the ropes. A lot of women run the ropes and just kinda touch them with their back because they aren’t fast and don’t have any weight behind it. Bayley actually builds up forward momentum and bounces off of the ropes. That doesn’t sound like a thing you should be praising someone for, but it’s an important and under-appreciated piece of being a great all-around wrestler.