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The Best and Worst of Impact Wrestling 5/22/14: Not All Eric Youngs

By / 05.23.14

Best: They match!

Hee.

Worst: An offer he can’t refuse (because he’ll never get to hear it)

It pains me to worst a segment involving EC3. It hurts my heart. But…I think I have to. There’s so much jammed into this convoluted seven and a half minutes that it doesn’t matter that he’s still an utter delight and had the presence of mind to pair those shoes with that colour suit. He’s fine. Let’s make it real clear that he’s fine. The rest is a straight up mess.

Dixie suddenly has an offer to make to MVP, seemingly putting them in cahoots (???), but then Big Bad Bully Ray comes to the ring having freshly remembered that he works there. These dynamics just…don’t make sense. We’re cheering the fellow whom MVP correctly points out threatens children (fist bump to whomever snuck that nugget of logic in there), has stalked a woman in her home and office because he just wants to physically harm her, and yet we’re booing the victim of said actions, and her nephew who just wants to protect his family?

I can’t even lie, I might secretly be enjoying the comeuppance people are getting at the hands of MVP and his friends, but that’s not even what it gets to be. MVP and Dixie are still “in the wrong.” Bully Ray says MVP’s only been here for a few months, and he doesn’t deserve anything, but what of Kenny King? Does no one seriously remember how long he’s been there? And by that logic, if Eric Young deserves it so bad, and has worked so hard, why wasn’t he champion sooner? Why was nobody getting mad at literally any other champion while Eric Young was sitting in the back reading chick tracts and replacing the contents of ODB’s flask with iced tea?

Impact Wrestling what are you even doing?

Worst: RIP Cool Magnus

We only had a short time with you, but what we did have will never be forgotten.


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