The Jason Elam Manifesto: A Review Of ‘Monday Night Jihad’ – Part 5

Welcome back to the on-going saga that is Jason Elam’s first novel in the RILEY COVINGTON series, MONDAY NIGHT JIHAD. I super-duper apologize for the enormous gap in updates! Last time out, a whole bunch of characters were introduced, just to get exploded all to hell via a massive terror attack during a Monday night (Oooh, that’s where the title comes from) game between the Colorado Mustangs and the Baltimore Predators. If you want to catch up with the what’s been going on in more detail, click on these things:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

And if you want to yell at me for whatever reason, click on this thing:

LegKickTKO

Chapter Sixteen

Monday, December 29
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Scott Ross is in the back of a taxi headed to the airport when his phone rings. It’s Jim Hicks (Ringtone selection: “Don’t Fear the Reaper”. Wait, DFtR, aka MORE COWBELL and the terrorists driving a DODGE STRATUS? Did Will Ferrell ghost write this thing?), ordering Ross to get back to the office immediately. Hicks informs Ross of the attacks in Colorado, and tells him they’re both getting on the CTD plane to go directly to Denver. Ross instantly asks if his old lieutenant, Riley Covington is among the dead, but Hicks has no information at this time.

Monday, December 29
Inverness Training Center
Englewood, Colorado

Riley and the rest of the accounted for Mustangs players have been escorted to the training facility to wait for questioning by the authorities. While waiting to get any news about Sal, Riley figures he might as well wash the blood off himself. After his shower, Pat Kimminau of the FBI takes him aside. Pat tells Riley that Scott Ross of Homeland Security is on his way to Denver would like to speak with him. Pat also tells Riley that Sal Ricci’s jersey and pads have been discovered at the scene of the last explosion, though due to the intermingling of the victims’ tissues, it will be difficult to make a positive DNA verification.

Riley is dealing with a lot of emotions, so Garrett Widnall, Travis Marshall and several other players go to him to pray on the matter. Riley spends the time plotting revenge and also lamenting that God didn’t do anything to stop the attacks (If there’s ONE thing I hate, it’s a Creator that won’t get off His cloud-couch to smite some chumps). Post prayer, Riley is trying to figure out what to say to Meg Ricci, but he better think of it quick because his cell phone is going off, and the caller ID says “Sal – Home” (OH DIP!)

Monday, December 29
Parker, Colorado

Meg Ricci has been having a terrible time for the last hour. When the Monday Night Football broadcast suddenly cut off, she assumed it was a technical glitch of some sort. Then the feed jumped to the studio, where she found out that the first explosion had gone off, then the second. Immediately after, Meg got a call from her parents. Meg uses this opportunity to let all of her emotions come flooding out and just starts panicking, worrying about Sal. Her parents try to console her and let Meg know that they are on their way from Fort Collins.

Meg hangs up and immediately hears knocks at her door. It’s her neighbor, Jill Walton. Jill embraces Meg, who breaks down crying. After several minutes, Jill manages to calm down Meg enough to get her to start calling people for information. Nearly an hour of dialing hasn’t gotten Meg any closer to real information, but after getting Sal’s voicemail, again, speed dial number two connects her live and direct to Riley Covington.

As soon as Riley answers, Meg unloads a flood of questions about Sal’s well-being. Riley can barely get out that Sal’s gone, which Meg initially takes to mean he’s already on the way home. It’s only after Riley repeats himself do the words sink in and Meg realizes what’s happened.

Meg drops to the floor, sobbing in terrible grief. Jill comes down the stairs with Alessandra, sees Meg crying and rushes to her friend’s side.

Key Lines:

His rage was less defined, but whoever the shadowed face belonged to, he was wearing a dish-dasha and had a smagh folded on his head. – Okay, at this point, no details about any of the bombers, even the one that was foiled by hot chocolate, has surfaced, but Riley just instinctively KNOWS that the attackers have to be Middle Eastern. There’s no chance it’s a Tim McVeigh type domestic terrorist, gotta be MUSLIMS, WITH THEIR FUNNY HATS.

Chapter Seventeen

Tuesday, December 30
Federal Bureau of Investigation, Denver Field Office
Denver, Colorado

The bomber what got foiled by hot chocolate sits, handcuffed to a chair, his face badly broken after an off-duty Denver cop slammed him into a guard rail. On the other side of a two-way mirror, Jim Hicks, Scott Ross, and chief Stanley Porter wait for a translator. Finally she arrives, Khadijah “Khadi” Faroughi, an associate of Jim’s. Scott gets a weird crush on Khadi, but he’s also intimidated by her reputation.

Before the interrogation can begin, Porter sets up some ground rules. Namely, that Hicks isn’t allowed in the room with his knife after what was done to Kurshumi. After some nostril flaring and intense staredowns, Hicks relents and gives up his blade to Stanley. Porter makes one final demand, that Ross stay in the room the entire time to prevent Hicks from going too nutso on the guy.

Tuesday, December 30
I-25, Southern Colorado

Hakeem Qasim is finally at peace. The first explosion at the stadium killed his doppelganger, and now he’s free. There is one thing that troubles him as he drives towards Las Cruces, New Mexico. There should have been seven explosions, but the second man’s bomb never went off. Hakeem doesn’t know if it was out of cowardice or maybe the man was killed before he had the chance to detonate. If he had been captured, things could go badly for Hakeem’s plans. There’s not much Hakeem can do either way, just get to Las Cruces, get smuggled across the border into Mexico, and from there it’s a flight back to the Middle East. Hakeem would only be able to soak in his boyhood culture for a brief time, though, as the next stage of his plan requires him to return back to America.

Before Hicks, Ross and Faroughi go into the interrogation room, Scott wants to know what the plan is. He offers up waterboarding, but Jim doesn’t want to deal with the mess and instead will be using a technique taught to him by a Mossad agent known as “shaking”. Hicks simply grabs the suspect by his collar and violently shakes the man for fifteen seconds, then asks who is contact is. The guy really wants to spit, but his face is too badly broken. Hicks starts up another round of shaking, but doesn’t get an answer. Hicks keeps shaking, but the suspect never gives up the information, not even when Jim pushes his thumb into the man’s shattered cheekbone. This turns out to be too much for Scott, who leaves the room. Stanley Porter tries to order Ross back in, but Scott flips him the bird and walks outside.

Key Lines:

A classic Persian beauty, her brown eyes and jet-black hair richly offset her light olive skin. – Well, as long as she ain’t too Middle Easterny, I guess it’s cool.

“Listen, bruiser, I saw how you ‘did your job’ with Kurshumi. Thanks to you, we’re going to have to bury him so deep inside of Gitmo that he’ll only see the light of day ever other Ramadan!” – Is that really any different from how often the other prisoners in Gitmo get to see the light of day?

Then, in a swift movement, he brought the blade rushing down toward Porter’s hand. At the last second, he rotated the knife and slammed the grip into the waiting flesh. – Noted psychopath, Jim Hicks.

Just because he was going to eat a burger didn’t mean he needed to watch them slaughter the cow. – Actually, Scott, if you are going to benefit from the death of an animal, you should absolutely be willing to witness the entire process, you giant dingus. Take a class at Bovine University and get back to me.

Chapter Eighteen

Tuesday, December 30
Parker, Colorado

Riley takes a cab home, unsure if he’s able to drive home in his current emotional state. Riley thinks about checking his messages, but realizes he’s already spoken to the important people in his life and let them know he’s safe. He considers turning on the TV, but again stops since the only thing anyone will be showing is replays from the attacks. Riley sits in his leather chair and kind of blames God for not intervening to stop the attacks.

Riley heads down to his basement, passing the hunting trophies and enters the room where his gun safe is located. He opens it up and takes out the M4 that was a going-away gift from his AFSOC team. Riley picks it up, but leaves a nearby loaded magazine where it sits, only because he’s pretty sure he’d end up murdering a random Middle Eastern guy at 7-Eleven because he’s kind of an unhinged psychopathic racist. Riley does briefly entertain the idea of reupping with the Air Force, but realizes there’s pretty much no chance he’d get put on the team to hunt the terrorists down. Riley falls asleep to the image of him pushing a knife against the throat of the man responsible, then gets woken up by his grandfather calling to say that he’s been stuck outside in the cold.

Tuesday, December 30
Federal Bureau of Investigation, Denver Field Office
Denver, Colorado

Scott tries to steel himself against the oncoming Stanley Porter rage as he walks back inside the building. Porter lets Ross know that a repeat performance will result in Scott’s dismissal, possibly both from the CTD and the ranks of the living. Porter tells Ross to interview Todd Penner since he fears Jim Hicks would stab the kid. Ross grabs a few Yoo-Hoo bottles then heads to Penner’s interrogation room. He admonishes the FBI staff for not talking to Todd and letting him know he’s not in any trouble.

Ross gives Todd a Yoo-Hoo and lets the kid call home to tell his family know that he’s okay. Scott keeps things cordial when he asks Todd to run down the events as they transpired. Todd says he paid attention to the bomber because he was looking into the crowd instead of down on the field. Todd reveals that the last thing the guy said before the tray of hot chocolate blonked him in the head was something like “America, because I’ve come to your shores”. Ross mulls the words over, throws an accent on it and then realizes the guy said “The Cause has come to your shores”. Ross runs out of the room to reveal his new information and sees Jim Hicks coming out of his interrogation room. Both shout “It’s the Cause!” and I assume do a freeze-frame jumping high five.

Riley heads upstairs to let his grandfather in and Old Man Covington notes the M4 slung across his grandson’s back. Riley starts making coffee while grandpa explains that it was decided someone needed to talk to Riley after the events of the night before since, rightly assumed, Riley would have revenge on his mind. Riley wants to know if the assignment is to talk him out of his plans or just talk, but the fact that he answered the door with an assault rifle, Grandpa Covington is pretty sure Riley’s mind is already made up. Grandpa admits that he’d join the fight if he were younger, but he doesn’t want Riley doing so out of hatred. Riley again states that he wishes God would have intervened, while Grandpa Covington reminds him that’s not how God works.

Key Lines:

He tried to convince himself that he was blowing the guy off because he was too tired to talk. But deep down, Riley knew his interest in communication had died as soon as he saw the name on the driver’s cab license – Hassan Muhammed. – Glad to see that our protagonist is SUPER F*CKING RACIST

How many children had been orphaned today? How many people died? How many would be crippled or in pain for the rest of their lives? All because one group of deluded terrorists wanted to make a point! – Again, I ask Riley to read the non-Riley section of the prologue and ask himself which bombing attack he’s talking about

Chapter Nineteen

Tuesday, December 30
Federal Bureau of Investigation, Denver Field Office
Denver, Colorado

Hicks and Ross are looking for Porter to share the news about The Cause being behind the attacks. It turns out Stanley left as soon as the Secretary of Homeland Security showed up and they are in the main conference room. Jim and Scott track that down and enter a meeting already in progress. Ross proudly announces The Cause’s involvement, but everyone already knows that, thanks to a DVD that was given to a local CBS affiliate and turned over to the authorities. The video gets played again and Ross half-watches, half-analyzes what’s going on. Details are sparse, but he figures that Hakeem Qasim is a young, well-built individual that sports a southern European accent undercutting the English he’s speaking.

Secretary Moss doesn’t seem to think Scott’s discoveries are all that impressive, and wants to know more about The Cause. Khadi jumps in, since her thesis was about up-and-coming expatriate terrorist groups and The Cause got four paragraphs. They are a hodge-podge group of people looking to retaliate against the west based on honor and revenge. There’s a religious aspect, but it’s more based on avenging attacks against individual families.

Hicks jumps in with his plan, he wants two black ops teams. One, headed by Ross, will go to Italy since that’s where The Cause has a solid base of operations. Team two, led by Hicks himself, will go to Paris, since it’s Jim’s opinion that the explosives will have French-based detection agents. Ross says he’s okay at intel, but would like to bring someone in to handle the operations side.

Key Lines:

But it’s not like gorwing-up-in-England-or-part-of-the-U.K. kind of highbrow accent. – Scott Ross, expert analyst believes there is only one kind of British accent. Good job catching these terrorists with this goofball on the squad.

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