Why The Heck Is This Umpire Riding A Hoverboard?

02.24.16 2 years ago

The future of umpiring is here.

No, we’re not talking about automated strike zones, fair/foul line technology, or any of the other gadgets that would improve the game’s officiating; we’re talking about umps riding hoverboards.

That’s right, baby…the future is here, and it’s incredibly stupid and lazy.

I’m not sure what possible reason this umpire at a Johns Hopkins baseball game has for riding around on one of those dumb things, but it’s probably not a good one. Maybe it’s a lame attempt at being hip and cool, in which case he could have just rocked some white Vans.

Or maybe he recently suffered an injury and can’t walk or something, but considering it’s not uncommon for these hoverboards to dump their riders hard or burst into flames, that’s probably not a good idea, either.

Either way, I’d really like to know what this guy’s plan was if one of the players hit a screaming liner in his direction down at third base. There’s no way he would be able to maneuver out of the way in time, at least not without hilariously falling on his ass.

I wouldn’t be surprised if players took aim at this guy all game long. Just like a golf ball-retriever becomes target practice on a driving range, an umpire riding a hoverboard on a baseball field should expect to become a sitting duck for whoever’s in the batter’s box.

Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the fact that these stupid things aren’t actually “hoverboards.” They don’t hover. They have wheels. Have a great day.

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