The Best And Worst Of Impact Wrestling 10/17/13: I Am What I Am Not

Momma's had some margaritas and is feelin' fris-kaaaay!

Momma’s had some margaritas and is feelin’ fris-kaaaay!

Hello from actually not boiling hot Texas! This week I’m in the land of food trucks and pot-bellied pigs with their own hashtags, writing alternately from the top of Brandon’s staircase and his guest room because he had to go to bed because he’s a real adult with a real adult sleep schedule. This week BRANMATH is stopping, collaborating, and maybe doing a little bit of listening as we bring you the report tag-team style. We have a terrible tag name (The CanAm Blognection is also not a thing we should be called), but we’re gonna beat up on the Usos and make fun of Magnus, all in the name of friendship and the need to get up early in the morning. A few things:

– As I mentioned in the last column we’ll be at a bunch of different wrestling shows this weekend. Tomorrow we’ll be in Houston so we can see Liger wrestle for the second time in a year (how is that even a thing), Saturday we’ll be in….somewhere because we haven’t figured out what show we’re going to go to, and Sunday we’ll be at Anarchy Championship Wrestling in Austin. If you’re out and about at any of these shows, come over, say hello, and maybe grab one of my fancy schmancy new business cards before I pass out from Jojo Bravo swoons.

– All GIFs courtesy of the wonderful DJ Jazzy Jess/Mobsy/Lobster Mobster. She only publicly goes by one of those things, and sadly, it is not the first one.

-Follow, comment, like, tumbl, tweet, and share this report with as many people as possible. If you are a personal friend of Magnus you should probably do none of those things, but if you’re a personal friend of Joseph Park, please tell him to call me so we can be BFF forever.

-If you want to know where we’ll be this weekend, or what our badass Halloween costumes for ACW are, follow me on Twitter here, and Brandon here. I tweet way more boner jokes, but Brandon will tweet more during the weekend because travel data plans for Canadians are super stupid and expensive. We will tweet equally about his cat. For none of these things, follow With Leather here, and UPROXX here.

This week on Impact: Zero instances of Joseph Park, multiple instances of Magnus, and one or two instances of adorable cats. Brandon’s in block quotes, I’m outside of them, let’s do this! WHOOMP, THERE [the Impact report] IS!

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