The presence of supernatural beings in North Carolina has been confirmed, as magic and sorcery have manifested themselves in the form of a sign on a highway that clearly shows the final score of Super Bowl 50 between the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers on Sunday.
The gods that decide our fates revealed themselves on the side of Highway 16 — Denver 7, Newton 20. Maybe you’re thinking, “But this final score is backward and it doesn’t refer to Carolina.” What you’re failing to realize is gods always do things mysteriously with burning bushes and voices from the sky, so this is the gods throwing us off a little bit.
But the wording makes it clear this is for real.
How? Because it says Newton instead of Carolina.
The gods are saying that while the Panthers will win, they are tired of Cam Newton dabbing in their faces on Sundays. It’s a subtle shot that Newton is selfish, an individual who wants to do it on his own and therefore they are mocking him with the “Newton 20” portion of the scoreboard. Although, if the gods were truly upset with all his dancing and smiling, wouldn’t they let him lose to Peyton Manning, who appears incapable of dancing?
Anyway, signs with football scores don’t simply erect themselves on the sides of roads. And you know it’s a real sign from heaven because who would ever care if they were 20 miles from Newton, N.C., or seven miles from Denver, N.C.? No one has ever needed that type of specific distance from those towns. Like someone would waste taxpayer dollars for a sign like that.
Take Carolina and the under. If you have 0 and 7 in your box pool, congratulations. Spend that money now.
