02.24.09 9 years ago 10 Comments

…and probably getting sodomized by someone a lot uglier than this. Not that I personally worry about that kind of thing. See, I have a conjoined twin and we’re connected four inches above my anus. If only everyone’s Hershey highway had its very own tollbooth operator. But anyway, the lesson here is that you shouldn’t drink and drive, unless you’re really, REALLY good at it.

Barkley just pled guilty to 2 counts of driving under the influence and pleaded “responsible” to running a stop sign for the December 31 incident in Scottsdale.

Barkley was sentenced to 10 days in jail — but will only do five if he completes an alcohol education program. Barkley was also fined $2,000.

Methinks going to jail in Scottsdale would be like going to a spa in Wichita, but there’s a chance that Barkley could end up in Arizona’s famous Tent City Jail, which was the greatest idea ever. Charles Barkley without air conditioning? Good luck pinning him down on laundry night.

UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that Barkley will in fact be headed to Tent City, and will be paired up with…DMX?!


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