Drunk Man Decides Crocodiles Are For Riding; Suffers Consequences

07.13.10 7 years ago 5 Comments

Lulling his dinner into a false sense of security...

Yes, you’re reading that right. Apparently a man from ‘New South Wales State’, a place I do not know but I will assume is where all of the stupid people in the world come from, decided after popping a few ‘brewskis’ that he’d watched enough episodes of Crocodile Hunter to properly take one for a test drive. Unfortunately for prospective crocodile drivers around the globe, they are still not a viable form of transportation and the crocodile bit the poor man in the leg. See Al Gore, finding alternatives to oil-powered vehicles is DANGEROUS!

A 36-year-old man from New South Wales State was on vacation in Broome in north Western Australia. He got drunk at a bar on Monday night and was asked to leave by the staff. That’s when he left and climbed a fence to get to a 18-foot saltwater crocodile at a crocodile park and decided to try to ride it.

The owner of the park didn’t have much sympathy for what happened next. Malcolm Douglas said, “If you are stupid enough to jump over a fence and ride a croc, I am sorry, that is your loss.”

Fatso the crocodile attacked the man and he sustained lacerations to his leg. -WHEC News

Excuse me as I attempt to befriend this Malcolm Douglas fella for naming a crocodile ‘Fatso’. That’s just excellent. Hell, the guy owns a crocodile park! I’ve basically found my new best friend. Now all I’ll need to do is inform him of this fact and we’ll both be set.

My question is, where did the man think he was going with that crocodile? To pick up some hamburgers and raw meat at the McDonald’s drive through? I hope that man’s schedule looked like this:

1. Get drunk

2. Ride crocodile

3. ?????

4. Profit

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