FRANKLY, I EXPECTED IT TO BE TACKIER

01.07.08 10 years ago 27 Comments

For a home with Packer carpeting, Packer pillows, Packer blankets, Packer bedding, Packer Nerf hoop, Packer photos, Packer table and stools, and Packer everything else, this could actually be a lot more garish and tacky.  It belongs to Michael Holton, a Packer fan (seriously) who uses this as one of two homes close to Lambeau Field when he comes in from out of town to watch the games in his box seats.

An Atlanta businessman originally from Milwaukee, Holton and his family… have flown in for every home game this season and turned right around Sunday night.

But it isn't the frequent flyer miles that get people talking or, more accurately, gawking. Holton's pad is a carefully constructed Packers paradise — a "place for men, designed by men" — with the only input from [his wife] being "the fact that she allowed it to happen."

Nothing says "die-hard fan" like living 2000 miles away, flying in to see games in person while staying in the house you use nine days a year, then getting the hell out of your shitty hometown as soon as possible. 

I do that all the time with Seahawks games — flying into town on my LearJet powered by fuel made from the dead bodies of Mexican immigrants, watching the game from the owner's box through binoculars held by my man-servant, then returning to the airport on a chair carried by eight virgins, six of which are sacrificed to appease the football gods while the other two apply cucumber slices to my eyes and fellate me during the flight home.  That's the great thing about football — blue-collar guys like me and can Holton really get into it.

[sports by brooks]

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