All of your vacation stories about ‘almost touching hot lava!’, ‘kissing a dolphin!’ and ‘sexual intercourse with Dikembe Mutombo!’ are now put to shame in comparison to the story of a duo of Germans who’ve decided to swim over three hundred miles by October with their flock of pet ducks in tow. As a person who gets winded after two minutes of treading water, I’m mortified by the thought of swimming so long without the assistance of little floaties and a mechanized kickboard that propels me to relaxation.
Maybe they’re bringing the ducks, so they can hook them up like a horse and buggie which will again prove to nature that humans are the vastly superior race. In fact, I may try to do this at my local swimming pool (and by local swimming pool I mean digging through the trash at the Clarion Hotel for thrown out keycards that’ll let me use illegally use their facilities). Get out of my way, old people! My abuse of ducks is more important than your water aerobics! The couple (Add them on facebook!) will begin their journey today, which confounds me. Do they realize they’ll be missing Shark Week?
Two Germans set out on an unusual summer holiday on Monday, beginning a 500 km (311 miles) swim down a river from central Germany to the North Sea with seven pet ducks.
Starting in the town of Kassel, 33-year-old Pia Marie Witt, 58-year-old Wilfried Arnold and their ornithic companions will swim down the Fulda and Weser rivers, hoping to reach the North Sea port of Bremerhaven by mid-September.
Witt and Arnold aim to swim 10 to 15 km per day — an order too tall for the seven runner ducks, which will swim for about 20 minutes a day, following by car or boat when exhaustion kicks in. -Yahoo!
Wait wait wait, these ducks can drive, too?! How do they decide which one gets to steer?