Happy Saturday, people. This is your weekday editor moonlighting on the weekend as thanks for Kevin's help the last couple days — and also in celebration of my amazing hair day. Today I bring to you the woeful hard-luck tale of Dale Earnhardt, Jr., whose transfer to Hendrick Motorsports next year from DEI will likely result in the loss of his beloved Number 8. But fear not, DaleNation — his heart will go on:
"That's the way it goes sometimes in this sport. You can't have everything. You just have to be satisfied with what you do have and what we're going to be able to accomplish in the future."
Oh, he's playing it coy, but deep down he's destroyed. That's not just any number 8. It's fuckin leaning, man! It's leaning back because it's moving so fast. You just don't find numbers that fast any more.
And what of his fans? All across rural America, white people will have to scrape the "8" decals off their trucks. And you just can't ask your fans to do that. That'd be like telling Calvin to stop peeing on the Ford logo.