11.14.06 11 years ago

It's not often I miss a game of Monday Night Football, but that's precisely what I did last night. I was all gay and intellectual, spending the night reading and drinking tea.

As it turns out, that was at least 83% more exciting than the Bucs-Panthers game. The Panthers managed to play decent football for a half, which is about a half more than Tampa was able to put together, as the Bucs fell 24-10. Polish-Italian stallion Bruce Gradkowski looked more like a gelding last night, and I say that because horses aren't very good at holding onto the football or completing passes to their teammates.

Fortunately for Carolina, Steve Smith showed up, which is the one part of the night (other than Suzy Kolber's return) I'm sorry I missed. Smith caught 8 passes for 149 yards and a late touchdown, plus he was apparently puking into a trash can on the sidelines because he has the flu, which I'm really sorry I didn't see. I appreciate a good boot and rally. That's part of the reason why bulimic girls are so sexy. The other part is they're not fat.

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