Oh my God I did it. I fuckin did it. After weeks — nay, a lifetime! — of searching, I have discovered the sexiest sport of all. In a bold gamble, the makers of this sport bravely steered away from the inherent sexiness of woman-on-woman grappling that is the hallmark of most sexy sports, and, I must say, the result is a phenomenal payoff.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present… Japanese. Bikini. Rodeo. Pie-fighting. Yes, you read that correctly: Japanese bikini rodeo pie-fighting. Seven fucking minutes of it.