Good afternoon, sexy bitches. The year's final Monday Morning Suck-Off is coming to you at a special p.m. time, and today I'm taking a look people who are getting fired for sucking all year long.
First up: Marv Levy. Technically, he's resigning, not getting fired. And good thing, too. The man is 82 years old. Eighty-fuckin-two. I wouldn't trust an octogenarian to wash my clothes without dying, I don't know why you'd give one a football team.
Next up: Dolphins GM Randy Mueller. This is just the first of the Parcells executions, of course. The 'Phins staff is gonna look like the Romanovs when V.I. Parcellskiy gets done with 'em. That's a joke for the smart kids. You can Google it if you don't get it, but it won't necessarily make the joke funny.
And yes, as headlines everywhere are blaring, Brian Billick has been fired from his position as All-Time Best Offensive Genius with the Baltimore Ravens. And what can you really say? He had a gigantic ego and he sucked at his job. Shit, if that's enough to get you fired, I may have to clean up my act.