NBA Roundup: David Stern Has A Plan

I’m a little late to the party with my NBA Playoffs orgy of information because I’m lazy. I have no other excuse than that. So I’m going to skip the formalities and make my quick predictions – Heat over Bulls, Thunder over Mavericks*, and the Heat winning it all. I know, it KILLS me to say that, but I’m an idiot who spent a whole season ripping the Heat and them playing the terribly mismatched Philadelphia 76ers is just the spark they need to win the title before the league shuts down for a year.

With that said, here’s a hastily thrown together and incredibly angry recap of last night’s action…

*I barely watched any Western Conference basketball this season, so that’s gonna be wrong.

Miami Heat 94, Philadelphia 76ers 73

This game was so disappointing for three reasons:

1) The Heat should have won by 50. With a 24-point lead and only 3 minutes left in the game, the Heat still had LeBron James, Chris Bosh and a sick Dwyane Wade in the game. If you’re going to be dicks, then be dicks with authority. The message was plain and simple – game 1 was a fluke, Miami was going to slaughter in game 2. Only a 21-point win? So sad.

2) With a 24-point lead and 3 minutes left, the Heat had their “Big 3” in. GROW SOME BALLS, PHILADELPHIA. How do you not stand up for yourselves and show some muscle? This is the same thing that the Cleveland Cavaliers f*cked up in their first match with LeBron and Co. this season. If someone is pissing on you, cut off the source. Thaddeus Young was terrible last night. The least he could have done was put Bosh on the ground a few times.

3) I grew up in Coral Springs, Florida. From 1989 to 2005, I was a huge Heat fan. I’ve attended over 100 Heat games in my life. I owned Harold Miner and Sherman Douglas jerseys. So to hear Ernie Johnson’s stupid “taking it to South Beach” comments throughout Chrysler commercials and when talking about other players who might want to play for Miami next season was irritating, to be kind. Sorry, this is just a personal annoyance, but calling the Heat a South Beach team is like saying the Tampa Bay Rays actually play in Tampa.

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