Oh Justin Bieber, You Are So Clever

ashley-burns
Senior Writer
10.24.11 6 Comments

A month ago, I attended an event and may or may not have spoken with some Orlando Magic higher-ups who may or may not have informed me that before moving to Winnipeg, the Atlanta Thrashers were offered to Orlando. Certain one-percenters declined, though, and Winnipeg sort of got its Jets back. The reason I tell that worthless story is that Winnipeg fans should really hate the city of Orlando right now.
Saturday night, as the Jets laid a 5-3 hurting on the Carolina Hurricanes, pint-sized Tegan and Sara lookalike contest winner pop star Justin Bieber was spitting mad game at his special boo, Selena Gomez. But the real to-do involves their personalized Jets jerseys above and their subtle number choices. The fan site, JustinBieberZone.com, asks the hard-hitting question:

We kinda wonder, is that their lucky number or something? Dirty mind please go away!

I assume it’s because “SCISSOR” isn’t a number. But I don’t want to be too hard on the Biebz or his fans, especially since they’re insane, so I’ll just tell them to come back and visit when they try to understand Bieber’s 420 Toronto Blue Jays jersey.
Speaking of Bieber fans, I can’t bring them up without getting a sample of their thoughts on the suggestive jerseys…

melanie: “sooöoo cutë but watch out selena he’s all mine”

Adding, “I’M F*CKING SERIOUS, B1TCH!”

dalila: “It could be their lucky number. Besides they look really cute together. Nice shirts.”

Yeah, could just be their lucky number. That they chose because it’s 69.

marie A: “justin and selena Gomez can i you number so i can ring you Love marie A”

Trust me, this doesn’t work. And it will get you banned from KateUptonFans.org.

Anita Bendang: “Its good number! And you, best couple!”

NOW YOU GO! YOU NO BUY!

emz: “lol 69 lmao thats sick but im sure it happens haha 69”

LOLZ!

Katymils: “You do realise what “69″ means, correct?”

Settle down, Caligula. Not everyone is as versed as you.

bieberfan: “what does 69 mean ?”

See? Some Beiberites are still pure and virginal.

Daniellee :* “Its there favorite position lmfao! But that should be me ..”

That’s what chloroform is for, dear.

Kimberly: “OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i found out what the 69 means. c i knew it had 2 b a reason because they wouldnt just wear a 6 and a 9 for no reason. its like when their doing their thing(not saying that they r) and their private parts r in each other face. so it’s like the top of 6 is the private part and the top of 9 is the face then the bottom of the 6 is the face and the bottom of the 9 is the private part. is any1 following me? if not look up ’69 sexually’ and itll explain more”

Are they teaching sex ed in schools anymore or are we just leaving it all to Google searches now?

bieber’s kunali: “haha never wondered ppl think soo bad , bt stilll hotness cant escape him he looks amaxing frm behind also , dont think wrong ppl !! :) justin wore 6 cuz thats his favorite number bt selena just wanted to b maughty i think ;) haha jkjk!!!1”

I knew this was all Selena’s fault.

Author Profile Picture
Ashley Burns has written about movies, TV, and sports for UPROXX since the site's first day.

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