This Week In Horrible-Looking People: 31 Funny, Forgettable WCW Glamour Shots

You know the drill. Every Monday, With Leather’s This Week In Horrible-Looking People takes a look at the best, funniest, and most memorably horrible pro wrestling promotional photos, or “glamour shots.”

This week, we go back to one of our most successful themes to date: the hilarious world of WCW. I grew up watching/preferring NWA and WCW to WWF/WWE, so these mean a lot to me. Especially the ones I can’t remember, because that means I’ll be spending the next hour browsing World Championship Wrestling wikipedia pages. Best possible use of the day.

I won’t keep you from it. Please click through to enjoy 31 of the funniest, most forgettable WCW glamour shots. Let us know which ones were your favorites in the comments section below, and show this to everyone you have ever met. Don’t let these beautiful memories die.

The joke when I was a teenager was that if Dory Funk was “Hoss Funk,” Allan Funk was “Ass Funk.” Note: I was not any better at making jokes when I was a teen.

Earthquake! Avalanche! Boston Molasses Flood! Call him anything!

“John, your new gimmick is Church Fire!”

“SURE”

We found Carmen Sandiego. She was in Cobb County, Georgia.

Billy Kidman was once so good he made “sullen, itchy teen” a marketable gimmick, and not just a thing you see at indy shows.

Fun fact: Brian Knobs invented the Bully Ray gimmick 13 years ago. “Former goofy tag team wrestler puts on a sleeveless button-up, throws on some baggy shorts and GETS SERIOUS~!”

Included because of the Three Wolf Moon pants. Also, because every time I see wrestlers posting photos of themselves at the gym talking about “killing leg day” or whatever, I just want to respond with “how you look isn’t the problem, go home and watch tapes.”

He’s Bunkhouse Buck, and he’s here to bunkhouse f**k.

The most appropriate name for a character, because I don’t remember ever seeing her.

Alternate nickname: “The Sophie B. Hawkins” Chuck Palumbo

Pro wrestling loves the “this wrestler has a mentally handicapped relative” joke more than anything. See also: Eugene, Horace Hogan.

Natural posing! Did Kimberly break DDP’s elbow? Is that what they’re going for here?

When did Dustin have a pirate gimmick?

Chris Bosh was an awesome wrestler.

I love you and miss you, The Cat.

Hahaha, who was a “loyal fan” of Fyre? She was one of like six people in a dance troupe. “Thanks for only looking at me during group numbers, your support keeps me alive, love Fyre.”

Hacksaw Jim Duggan in his best gimmick ever, “janitor who also happens to be Hacksaw Jim Duggan.”

Brandon be skipping these matches

(Steroids are part of a total package)

more like General Malaise, am I right

more like Private Home Video, am I right

Wait, when did Chono win the Heavyweight Championship? Did this 8×10 print from my dreams? Is my brain hooked up to the wifi?

The Shogun of Tonga. KISS MY CONVERSE

Does that say “hill Tag?”

Hey Mike Sanders, you’re even more boring than Hill Tag.

is there a naughty B? But seriously, is this a bunch of WCW promo photos or the catalog for a Halloween Express?

Pro-tip: The best way to tell if a Rey Mysterio match is going to be good is to look at the size of his head in relation to the rest of his body. Are his ears wider than his hips? GREAT MATCH COMING UP.

At some point Flair’s robes stopped looking pimp and started looking like Carol Burnett’s curtains.

When you see him coming, better run for cover

The funny thing is that there isn’t a lot of difference between this photo and the one of Scotty Riggs.

why don’t you finish Taylor Making your legs?