The ESPYs were last night, and the event holds little value to me since it’s ESPN and there’s still no award for “Transgender Athlete Of The Year,” the award for which should be a 3-night stay at Eddie Murphy’s house. Get it? Because…that one time…ah, forget it.
Anyhoo, we need to have a little conversation about Matt Leinart, who’s already been his own boy band for some time. It’s an image he’s been trying to fight, literally, for a while now, and then he goes and does this. And I get that the ESPYs is not exactly black-tie, but you’re telling me that you couldn’t do any better than some baby blue sweater that your mom bought for you? You look like a third grader on picture day. Buy a jacket. Put it on. Buy pants that fit. I know life is hard for a pro quarterback in July, but you can do it. This is a lot easier than pretending to be a leader in an NFL locker room.
Here are more images of peeps at the ESPYs. I think the woman in the black dress looks pretty good. Really, how hard is it to get dressed up for one of these things? They rolled out a red carpet for you people. A RED CARPET! No one mockingly throws on any old thing in the face of such prestigious floor covering! Although I should talk: I don’t even wear pants to work. But, to be fair, my carpet is more like a light beige number. I like beige. I like to roll around on it in my underwear after I get irritated for people’s poor wardrobe choices. UPDATE: I’ve been told this pic is from last year’s ESPYs, but it’s hard to confirm because 1) the image is undated and 2) I don’t really care. via via