What to watch for in this weekend's biggest matchups. One team or another in ALL CAPS.
AMERICA over Those Other Countries – Because fuck those guys, right?
Meteor over RED SOX/YANKEES – Experts are saying the Earth may be obliterated by an asteroid by Labor Day. Can't we just move it up a few months?
WALL*E over Hancock – Welcome to earf, cute wordless robot. Still, you don't belong in the top 10 movies ever.
Roger Federer over RAFAEL NADAL – Because it's not on clay. And Nadal's sleeveless shirts are destroying America, even from afar.
UFC 86 over AT&T National – Sure, they're not on at the same time, but you probably want to avoid any event in D.C. this weekend. Coddamn tourists.
That'll do it for another week. See you on Monday. Enjoy America's 232nd.