Kevin Hart and a group of celebrities you’ve otherwise barely heard of will hit the court tonight at 7 PM ET on ESPN for the Sprint NBA All-Star Celebrity Game and I can pretty much sum it all up for you like this: everybody’s gonna run around, the former players will make some lay-ups, Kevin Hart will yell jokes, Nick Cannon will roll around in a pile of Mariah Carey’s money, Usain Bolt will run fast but suck at shooting and people will wonder who the hell Ryen Russillo is.
Also, every time someone mentions Sean Elliott, I will think it’s Sam Elliott and then I’ll be bummed that it’s not.
UFC on Fuel 7 – 3 PM ET on Fuel TV (Saturday)
Remember to join us for our live discussion tomorrow afternoon. It’s FREE FIGHTS and there’s a guy named GUNNAR NELSON! It’s like someone scheduled this event thinking only of me.
NBA All-Star Weekend – Pretty Much Any Time on ESPN, NBA TV and TNT (All Weekend)
Let’s face it – the only thing that people ever really want to watch is the Slam Dunk contest, so that’s on TNT on Saturday night at some time between 8:30 PM ET and 11-ish, I guess. Who’s in it this year? I dunno, a couple dudes. Kenneth Faried and his friends. Whatever, the Slam Dunk contest is a joke now since it turned into a gimmick for players and their endorsements.
You know, people keep writing their annual “How I would fix the All-Star Weekend” columns and posts, and I think the only real solution to anything is the next time LeBron James does his little “Maybe I’ll be in the Slam Dunk Contest, what do you guys think?” routine, we knock him out with chloroform and lock him in a box on the court until it’s time to start and we force him to do it. Otherwise, yawn.
NBA All-Star Game Presented by Kia – 8 PM ET on TNT (Sunday)
It’s about as exciting as the Pro Bowl, so have fun flipping back and forth between this game and whatever 16 Seth MacFarlane shows are on Fox now.
That’s what I th… HEY!
Go back to your porn stars, Alberto Del Rio!