Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the greatest sentence in journalism history, via the Chicago Tribune:
Police were called last week to Mullets Sports Bar & Restaurant in Homer Glen to deal with an angry customer who allegedly shattered a framed photo of A.C. Slater, a fictional, mullet-wearing jock played by Mario Lopez in the 1990s television series “Saved by the Bell.”
Everything about that is perfect. Mullets. The sports bar in Homer Glen. And especially the shattered photo of A.C. Slater. That guy was a dick.
“I just don’t like Slater,” the man reportedly told the owner after allegedly yanking the photo from its place of pride above a urinal and smashing it on the floor… The man left after another person gave the bar owner $11 for the broken frame, according to a Will County sheriff’s police account.
This drunk man is a hero. “Saved by the Bell” is filled with awful, unlikable stereotypes, but Slater was easily the worst. Just look at this douche:
Anyway, I’m sure the cops appreciate being called to investigate this pressing matter. “And then he smashed my photo of A.C. Slater!” “Sir, are you aware that we could be stopping actual crime if we were somewhere else right now?”
(screencaps via LOLSlater)