People’s Choice Awards (CBS) — Of course it’s on CBS, the people’s network. There’s no way to effectively summarize the idiocy of what the slobbering braindead populace enjoys with my limited word count, so please, peruse the nominees at your leisure. I think the low point is Favorite Rock Band, with nominees Daughtry, Linkin Park, Maroon 5, Nickelback, and Paramore. Whoops, I just swallowed my tongue. (Hosted by Queen Latifah.)
Live to Dance (CBS) — The 18 finalists are chosen. A couple different people have tweeted that a much better show would be “Dance to Live.” I like that. It could be like Stephen King’s “The Long Walk,” but with more Usher songs.
Modern Family (ABC) — James Marsden guest stars as a hot tub intruder. Thank God shows are back from winter break. It was so sad to turn on my TV and have nothing new on my DVR.
Human Target (Fox) — Christopher Chance (Mark Valley) returns with a two-hour episode. PROS: Valley is taller and more handsome than Kiefer Sutherland. CONS: this show isn’t half as good as “24.”
Law & Order: SVU (NBC) — Back-to-back episodes. Twice the rape! Twice the Ice-T!
Top Chef (Bravo) — In a first for the show, the contestants will go head-to-head against Tom Colicchio in one of the challenges. I haven’t been watching this season, but I’ll tune in for this. I wanna see Colicchio kick some ass.
