It’s official: “Game of Thrones” is so awesome that I can no longer watch other television shows on Sunday nights. There’s simply no way I could tolerate the slow pace or subtlety of “Treme” or “The Killing” after being treated to sixty minutes of unfiltered commercial-free ownage. Last night’s episode (S1E5, “The Wolf And The Lion”) was the season’s best yet, featuring character development and scenes that weren’t in George R.R. Martin’s book, tight and efficient writing, and award-worthy acting. But who cares about that stuff? Here are JUST THE BADASS PARTS:
- A knight, frustrated at losing a jousting match, decapitates his horse with a broadsword. I’ve got a GIF of it on the next slide, and I’ve watched it about 700 times now.
- Two graphically violent melees.
- Two scenes with whorehouse nudity, including full-frontal shots of dong and ladyparts (NSFW screencap here).
- A dwarf bludgeoning a man to death with a shield.
- Dragon skulls in a castle’s dungeon. That’s right: DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS.
- Mountaintop prison cells where the fourth “wall” is a precipitous drop off a cliff (banner image).
- A knife through a character’s eye.
And that list doesn’t even include the “WHOA!” moments of a six-year-old boy breastfeeding from his crazy mother or the scene where the gay knight shaves his lover’s chest then noisily fellates him (those don’t exactly qualify as “badass” in my book). But taken as a whole, nothing on television provides such an ass-kicking visual feast. Enjoy some violent and bloody GIFs and screencaps on the following pages.
IN THE FAAAAACE!
Jaime is such a dick.