Justified (FX) – Raylan takes on Oxycontin dealers and presumably shoots one or more of them in the chest and/or face. I love this show. (HEY YOU! Go reread my Q&A with “Justified” writer Jon Worley.)
Tosh.0/Key & Peele (Comedy Central) – Season premiere of Tosh, and series premiere of “Key & Peele,” a new sketch show. Sorry guys, not while Raylan’s shooting people. Priorities.
Southland (TNT) – I have never seen this show, but I have heard it’s good, and people get angry when I don’t include it. Here you go. Please do not yell at me.
Inside the Actor’s Studio (Bravo) – George Clooney is the guest. Sometimes I forget George Clooney is an actor. I just think of him as this awesome rich guy who goes to award shows in expensive suits with attractive ladies on his arm. Like Brody Jenner, but with redeeming qualities and a soul.
Glee (FOX) – Tonight’s episode is Michael Jackson-themed. The video for “Jam” was awesome. I would have forfeited 10% of my future earnings to be in a warehouse with Heavy D and Kriss Kross watching Michael Jackson try to play basketball against Michael Jordan. (Video after the jump.)
Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC) – Former WWE wrestler Mick Foley and soap opera actor Antonio Sabato, Jr. swap wives. No two people on Earth are less alike than Mick Foley and Antonio Sabato, Jr.
Ink Master (Spike) – From TV Guide: “A head tattoo causes a fight; naked women appear in the competition; a third artist is eliminated.” This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best possible sentence.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Tonight, Leno has Michelle Obama and Mark Harmon from “NCIS.” Letterman, on the other hand, has Bill Murray and Girls’ Generation, a nine member, all girl Korean pop group (who has been discussed on the Uproxx network before). This is what we in the television community refer to as “effective counterprogramming.”