Channing Tatum — YA BOY! — appeared on “Today” this morning, and he and about a zillion dancers took part in a gyrating flash mob to promote his groundbreaking new film Magic Mike. Based on everything Burnsy has taught me about C-Tates, I think it’s safe to assume that all of the show’s female viewers are now pregnant and struggling rec centers around the world have been saved.
I also think it’s safe to assume that Ann Curry went back to her dressing room and screamed “IT’S NOT ENOUGH THEY’RE FIRING ME? THEY NEED TO HAVE SOME DUDE GRIND ME INTO AL ROKER, TOO?! CALL MY AGENT!,” at which point Channing Tatum entered and pointed to his groin for 10 consecutive minutes until security escorted him out of the building while he pleaded “Yo, son. SON. Why you got beef? I wuz juss tryna cheer up dat lady with my dong.”