“You know what’s, like, totally icky? Bugs. Blind people. The Middle-ish East. But also Game of Thrones. More like Gag of Thrones.” And from that conversation, an idea was hatched. Earlier this week, Thrillist published a thought-provoking article by Renata Sellitti called “Why Girls Hate Game of Thrones.” It makes some solid points.
Game of Thrones ranks somewhere on the Girl Dislike scale between NASCAR and that National Geographic show where the guy sticks his hand in a catfish’s mouth.
But why does she throw so much shade? If you just can’t understand why we’re intent on harshing your medieval buzz, here are some telltale clues.
Please let this be unsuccessful satire and not real. Please let this be unsuccessful satire and not real.
We hate gross things. Know what’s gross? Screwing your sibling.
Us men, though, we can’t get ENOUGH incest. I’ll take the incest with a side of beastility, is what I say.
-It’s hard to follow. Brilliantly developed storylines are great, but whipping out a dry erase board and Venn diagrams to figure it all out isn’t our idea of a good time. Unless we’re talking about soap operas. Those are perfectly fine.
-It reminds us of the kids that used to play magic cards in the cafeteria. And people who go to Renaissance festivals. Eating a giant drumstick and drinking out of a goblet is cool, just not every Sunday night for three months straight.
-It’s all naked chicks. In addition to the actual ladies of the night on the show, there seem to be a lot of…unofficial ladies of the night on the show. This is why guys love it, we get it, but we can do without seeing topless wenches in loin cloths.
-Dudes get their hands chopped off. And their nipples. And their balls. How is it that you guys like this again?
But not as stupid as:
If all of that fails, you can always distract us with Mad Men. Girls may hate Game of Thrones, but we love Don Draper.
A hunk of adultery meat, that one. I’m honestly not sure which is the more terrifying prospect: that Sellitti published the worst Onion story ever, or if she means what she wrote? To spend too much time thinking about it, though, is pointless and exactly what she (and Thrillist) wants, so instead, let’s all agree that women love Game of Thrones just as much as men and that her article should be burned from the Internet. Like this, as instructed by a NOT-MAN: