A Bunch Of People In Connecticut Called 911 Last Night Because Their Cable Went Out

Florida may have the market cornered on crazy news stories about things like tasing kangaroos and whatnot, but that’s because Florida is essentially ten gallons of rascals and miscreants in an eight gallon boomerang-shaped bucket. Every state has their own “thing,” though. For example, Colorado has stories about wild moose who know how to party, and Connecticut has … well, Connecticut has white people problems.

Police in Fairfield are reminding residents that the use of 911 is not meant for non-emergency calls.

Police posted on their Facebook page that 911 received numerous calls regarding a Cablevision television, phone and internet service outage. […]

According to Fairfield police, they are unsure the exact number of 911 calls they have received because of the service outage, but they tell Eyewitness News that it was “quite a few.” [WFSB]

If you carefully pick this story up and hold it up to your ear like a seashell, you can actually hear a woman gasp and clutch her pearls when the police tell her over the phone that this does not constitute an emergency, even if it means she won’t be able to discuss The Newsroom at the marina over a three-martini lunch with her friends Buffy and Elizabeth.

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