Yo bitch, everyone’s favorite bitch, Aaron Paul, celebrated his 34th birthday today, bitch. OK, enough of that. Earlier, the Breaking Bad star tweeted, “Thank you all for the loving birthday messages. Half of them have the word Bitch in them and in fact that makes me very happy. Love you all!” but he conveniently left off how he spent the day and will be spending the night. We are nothing if not theorists here, so let’s guess what the birthday bitch’s up to.
1. The day began with a visit to the strip club (with his wife) to beat the 10 a.m. rush.
2. He was disappointed.
3. Obligatory awkward lunch with the parents and in-laws.
4. He called up his random ass celebrity friends for a get-together at his house.
5. The only requirement to being on the guest list (dunno how Puff Daddy snuck in):
6. He got in touch with fellow birthday boy, Paul Reubens. (Via)
7. IT’S PINATA PARTY TIME (minus the pinata).
8. Time to dance…
9. …and play Pin the Finger Mustache on Hitler, everyone’s favorite party game.
10. After that rascal Puff Daddy spilled wine EVERYWHERE, it’s time for everyone to leave.
Good night everyone.