‘SNL’ Recap: Is Drake The Next Justin Timberlake?

By: 01.19.14


“Slumber Party” is what happens when Aidy Bryant’s character from “Girlfriends Talk Show” turns into a horny adult who doesn’t know how to properly release the tension. She’s a ticking time bomb of passion, and the passion is ready to explode all over Drake, or a pillow. Whatever works. I like the reveal that Bryant is 25, not 13, courtesy of a Vicodin coma, but dear god, that’s tragic. Girl just wants to get in on with Drake’s mustache.


A week ago, most people (Bullitt fans excluded) had no idea who Jacqueline Bisset is. Now, she’s being mocked on SNL for acting like an wild-haired, insane woman at the Golden Globes. Being famous is the best.


This is why rappers shouldn’t wear shorts. Or bright polo shirts. And bright polo shirts with shorts. If this whole acting and rapping thing doesn’t work out for Drake, here are some other jobs he might want to take a look at: air boat tour guide, movie theater ticket-taker, pottery class instructor, overly helpful mall kiosk manager. The possibilities are endless. (As for “Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular,” eh, still better than Crystal Skull.)


Miss Meadows isn’t a character viewers were demanding to return, but sure, she can come back, the operative word being “come.” The premise is the same: bad poems, say the word “OK,” then get turned on by a student’s poem. Drake’s ode to older women was highly seductive, but I’ll take “HELL YEAH” any day. HELL YEAH.


The original “Mornin’ Miami” is one of the best things SNL has done this season, or any season. The sequel isn’t as spectacular — it can’t be, since the escalating weirdness was a total surprise the first time ’round — but there are still some great teasers in here, many coming from the immortal Burt Fingerblast. (Where was Bobby the rest of the night? Is he too famous now, with that Chozen money rolling in?) Though Kate gets the line of the night: “Jeanne Tripplehorn is back from the dead to tell us how we were wrong and she was never dead in the first place!”


Not one of Kyle and Blake’s strongest efforts, “I Know” never really took off, unless you consider Kyle’s soul leaving his momentarily-lifeless body taking off, in which case, it took off, then immediately stalled. It’s their first mini-dud of the season, so they’re forgiven; plus, hey, neither one of them wore shorts, so it’s all good.


I don’t know if Team Jhene Aiko is a thing, but it is now.

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