Blazing Saddles (AMC, 8 p.m.) — There should be an entire channel devoted to showing nothing but Blazing Saddles. Actually, let’s change that to nothing but Mel Brooks movies. Dracula: Dead and Loving It can get the coveted 3 a.m. on a Tuesday timeslot.
NBA Draft (ESPN, 8 p.m.) — Boy, can you believe the [fill in team later] took [fill in player later]? They’re sure going to look [fill in adjective later] in five years.
Party Down South (CMT, 10 p.m.) — “The ongoing drama threatens to destroy several more friendships in the house.” If I can’t believe in reality show friendships, what CAN I believe in?
Spartacus: Blood and Sand (SyFy, 10 p.m.) — Miss out on Spartacus: Blood and Sand when it aired on Starz? Well, now you can watch it on SyFy, without any of that distracting nudity. If you can somehow go back and forth between SyFy Spartacus and A&E Sopranos, you will go crazy.
Rectify (Sundance, 10 p.m.) — Please remember to KEEP watching Rectify. Thank you.
Comedy Bang! Bang! (IFC, 10:30 p.m.) — Tony Hawk guest stars, hopefully with Goldfinger.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Mark Ruffalo on Letterman; Bob Newhart and Spoon on Kimmel; Jane Lynch on Ferguson; Melissa McCarthy on Stewart; Joel McHale on Conan; and Paul Rudd on Colbert.