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Hallmark Channel Is Starting A Kitten Football League This Fall

By 08.21.14
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If I had two major complaints about Hallmark’s inaugural Kitten Bowl earlier this year, they would be (1) the fact that it was a bullsh*t Puppy Bowl knockoff “agility competition” that included “an obstacle course of hurdles of varying heights, A-frame Alpine scratchers, tunnels, hoop jumps and weave poles,” none of which constitute football in even the most generous definition of the term, and (2) entry into the game wasn’t merit-based in any discernible way.

Well, it looks like Hallmark has seen fit to address one of these issues. FINALLY.

In the run-up to Kitten Bowl II, Hallmark Channel is mounting the Feline Football League, which will seek out only the best and cutest kittens for a draft, which will institute all the new FFL teams. Beginning in November, animal-based-sports junkies will be able to follow along with the league’s latest games through Hallmark Channel’s website and social media as the teams march on toward Su-Purr Bowl Sunday on Feb. 1. [LA Times]

To recap: There is a Kitten Bowl, which will be played by the regular season champions of an all-kitten football league, which will be populated by kittens selected during a kitten draft. We are one, maybe two steps away from Mark Schlereth going on television and blasting a tiny fluffy cat in a bandana and gold chain as a me-first prima donna who doesn’t understand that playing in the Feline Football League is a privilege, not a right, and that you have to earn it by putting in the work. I kind of can’t wait.

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