Adorable, sweet and infallible internet darling Jennifer Lawrence appeared on Letterman to promote The Hunger Games, show off her short hair, and describe some recent medical issues that had her changing underwear constantly. Calm down, creeps.
It seems that Lawrence was experiencing some pain that she thought was an ulcer and she finally decided to have it checked out:
“I thought I had an ulcer and it turns out it was a fulcer… I had this really bad pain for like three weeks and you can only sh*t your pants so many times a day before you say ‘I have to go to the hospital.’”
The most adorable ulcer ever! Right? And for the record, I do believe it is spelled “fulcer,” random Tumblr gif. Straight from the ‘Late Show’ video itself. Yet another shameful display.
J-Law continued on to describe her emergency room visit to Dave while attempting to paint a picture of what a drugged up Jennifer Lawrence would be like:
“They were putting me to sleep and I can see the stuff like coming towards me and she was telling me ‘think somewhere peaceful, think of an island. A lot of people have pleasant dreams’ and I’m just like ‘I’M PARALYZED!’ Then I passed out and when I woke up she was like ‘Jennifer did you have any dreams?’ and I went ‘I dreamed there was a nuclear bomb going off.'”
You clearly have to watch it to get the full experience, but a drugged up Jennifer Lawrence is a lot like my drunken uncle. They’re both dreaming about nuclear annihilation and holding deep conversations about the Kardashians with random people they meet.
I will go out on a limb and call her one of the better guests you could have on a talk show, rivaled only by the likes of Bill Murray. She’s a delight and full of frenetic energy. It’s going to be sad when she eventually crashes and goes completely mad on us all in some sort of Sunset Boulevard type of murder scenario. I can just see her doing a Norma Desmond now as I float in her pool.
I’m in this story now and it’s not creepy at all. Not one bit.