To capitalize on March Madness (and also get millions of extra clicks on their website), Esquire had an online bracket to determine the Sexiest Woman Alive — even though they just named Minka Kelly the Sexiest Woman in the World six months ago. I guess those two are different somehow? Like, maybe Minka Kelly could be dead and still really hot? Or maybe the Sexiest Woman Alive could live on the moon?
Anyway, the winner of the tournament was Katrina Bowden of “30 Rock,” who bested last year’s winner Brooklyn Decker. Also in the running were my favorite 18-year-old Kate Upton (a 13-seed? WTF?), Bar Refaeli (an 8-seed???), Katy Perry (a 1-seed? Okay, whoever did the seeding was definitely gay), Lana from “Archer” (14-seed), Christina Hendricks (3-seed), and… Bristol Palin? Oh, Esquire. Even when you do something right, you do it wrong.
Listen, I’m not here to argue about who’s sexier than whom, or which impossible-to-attain women I would deign to sleep with. All I’m sayin’ is, Katrina Bowden has a lot of underwear that shows off her fantastic ass. I think that’s something we can all agree on. Now who wants to sing “Kumbaya”?
(Esquire’s ad-heavy slideshow here; my favorites are on the following slides.)