Put down your Robyn cassettes and Mystic Pizza VHS tapes because I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news: Emmy Winning Reality TV Production Company – Seeking Real Life “Girls” is an ad up on Craigslist right now that thousands of Marnie and Hannahs have already replied to. The bad news: 150,000 people died today.
Let’s go through the posting for the show; it’s too good not to.
Ever feel like life in the big frantic city is just too much?
Boy do I. Just this morning, I was trying to have a conversation with this man on the train when…
Are you a twenty-something young woman seeking fame, fortune, love or even a hookup with potential?
Um, I wasn’t done answering your first question. Plus, I’m engaged and, ahem, clearly a man. *flexes arms that instantly sag like in a Popeye cartoon* But I do like fame and/or fortune. Please continue.
How do you get from here to there when you can’t even get a seat on the L train!
Where is there? Am I here? The hell are you talking about? Why doesn’t your question end with a question mark%
Come to a casting call with our Emmy-winning production company and tell us your dreams and woes, your highs and lows, your tales of *** in the city
I see what you did there. But let’s dissect this: lots of shows have won Emmys. Everybody Loves Raymond won about 48 of them. Why can’t you reveal which “Emmy-winning production company” you are? Furthermore…
Is your circle of friends bound together by not just the parties, fights, and brunches but frequent bouts of commiserating over your struggles? It isn’t easy taking the road less travelled, but making it as a writer, designer, entrepreneur, actress/model or glorified dog walker never is!
STOP CUTTING ME OFF. I’M A TWENTYSOMETHING CREATIVE TYPE LIVING IN BROOKLYN WHO, WHEN NOT WORKING AS A BARISTA, WALKS FERRETS AND PICKS UP OLD NEWSPAPERS TO BUILD INTO WACKY HATS FOR SENIOR CITIZENS. I AM INDIVIDUAL, I AM REALER THAN REAL, I AM THE PROUD OWNER OF A BANDCAMP ACCOUNT, AND I DESERVE BETTER. I. Am…Girls. *Record scratch*
The real life television show we are making follows the trials and tribulations of an ensemble of wise-beyond-their-years young ladies. We are with you living the dream in hipster Brooklyn and lower Manhattan. Only well educated and cultured extroverts need apply. Are you thinking about that show–“Girls?”
I was actually thinking of Bitch Hunter.
Well we didn’t say it but…now that you mention it.
Please, someone reading this, apply. You, too, can be as famous as a Girl or even a Gallery Girl.