Welcome back to sobriety, world. Now let’s watch two drunk women kiss and then yell, “We’re gonna f*ck sh*t up!” live on Fox News, which has taken a commanding lead in the Cable News Networks with Drunk “Tall Drinks of Water” Yelling Obscenities power rankings. In last place: MSNBC. Apparently filling Rachel Maddow and Mika Brzezinski’s stockings with mini-bottles of Jack Daniel’s ISN’T a good idea. Now they know.
Also, props to the producer who thought it wise to interview partygoers at a club in South Beach five minutes before midnight. (That’s the nicest thing anyone on the Internet will say about cable news in 2014.)